For those of us who always feel like we're one step away from stress, anxiety, or overwhelm - and those already there - there is so much more you can do about it to help yourself than many realise šš¼
It's often seen as 'normal' for us to feel constantly stressed, rushed, and harassed, while struggling mentally has almost become a standard way of living. And though it's probably fair to say many of us aren't living lives that support our health and wellbeing as best as we might šæ there is so much more that we can do remedy the stress we're experiencing. And it's actually pretty simple too! š
So, what can we do? Firstly, a let's have a simplified bit of understanding of why this is happening - but if you're feeling impatient please feel free to scroll down about five paragraphs ā¬ļø to look at the strategies you can use to reset stress!
It's helpful to know that the stress response is actually a very normal and healthy part šø of our body's mechanisms to respond to threats and that what has happened over time is simply that these normal mechanisms are just being triggered way too often.
Back in the day (a long way back that is!) our stress response kicked in to help us when threats arose such as coming across a tiger or bear š» those hormones and all of the energy flooding our would be needed to activate the fight-flight-freeze response and keep us safe. However, nowadays, the stress response our lifestyles have evolved hugely but the stress response hasn't. So, we can get a full on fight-flight-freeze reaction from opening emails š§ having to make a call š we know will be tricky, running late for work, etc. Luckily though, it is possible to calm ourselves.
There are different elements to our nervous system and in an ideal world, we would be living in a neutral baseline state called homeostasis where we aren't in stress, and we aren't in deep rest, we are in balance āŗļø. Sadly though, many live in the sympathetic stress arousal state, so when something our minds perceive as 'danger' happens, we are already in a stress state and it just increases this feeling inside of us, winding us up even more and flooding our bodies with more stress hormones and energy.
In an ideal world, we want to be at a neutral state for much of our daily activity, then when stress comes in we can act to discharge it. Historically, this would usually have been running, fighting (or freezing). During fight or flight š the body naturally uses the energy and it's discharged, bringing us back to baseline and the calming side of the nervous system kicks in to bring us to rest and repletion.
Sometimes we can't fight or flight because it's not an option and this is where our current way of living struggles the most š. We can't the 'fight' or 'flee' emails, late trains and traffic jams, amongst other things, that seem to be constants in our lives. And therefore, our body doesn't discharge the hormones and release the energy that has built up to help us.
In the wild when an animal can't fight or flight, you'll see they go into freeze mechanism - playing dead - but after this the animal will naturally discharge all of the stress and trauma through shaking. That way, the body is reset to baseline š.
As humans, however, we have become quite disconnected to the wisdom of nature and most of us may never have heard of this idea of discharging stress, let alone various ways we might reset. And we have also been 'socialised' out of the innate wisdom we had as babies š¶ and toddlers where something happens and we cry, stomp or thrash it out of our bodies - and then often fall promptly asleep.
āØ Here's the important bit - what we can do to help! āØ
š± BREATHE - it really is that simple!
Take a couple of minutes after a stressful situation to simply sit and breathe. Begin with a full exhale. Then breathe in, with the intention to get the breath into your belly, not just your chest (this might take a few breaths to manage).
As you exhale, let your shoulders and jaw relax. Then, simply continue breathing in and out, slowing your breath down. After a minute, you should find that you can let your exhale lengthen out and this will kick in the calming side of your nervous system. If you like, put a little pause between the inhale and exhale once the breath feels nice and relaxing. You are now doing diaphragmatic belly breathing - a super helpful way to let go of stress.
š± SHAKE IT OUT - do it like the animals do
If you can, stand up and shake that stress out of your system. Focus on hands and wrists, move to elbows, then shoulders. One or both arms at a time. Then, take it to your feet and ankles, knees, then hips (obviously one leg at a time!). Then try shaking out the core of your body and finally your whole body. A little tip - if you've got neck tension, your neck won't thank you for shaking it out, keep to the shoulders instead.
š± SOOTHING SELF MASSAGE
A couple of minutes spent softly massaging your ears and space behind and in front of them and maybe sweeping your hands over your face too, will do wonders to reset stress.
š± SWEEPING ARMS
Sweep you hands up and down your arms (bare arms are better). You can vary the speed and the pressure to see how it feels. It's also a bit like giving yourself a hug.
š± BUTTERFLY TECHNIQUE
Cross over your hands at the thumbs (like butterfly wings) then place them on your upper chest so your fingers will be just below your collar bones - rhythmically tap one side and then the other for a couple of minutes whilst breathing slowly.
āØ MORE HELP?? āØ
If you'd like to get a more in depth understanding of how you can help yourself to health and wellbeing, here are some of my offerings, both online and in person:
š THE HEALING HOUR
An Oxted-based class on Wednesday evenings at 7pm, specifically designed to calm the nervous system and bring you back to calm - Ā£15.50.
š NERVOUS SYSTEM REWIRING COURSES
A pre-recorded and available on my website. 6 core videos and supporting videos in between. Touch base emails with me to help if needed - Ā£39.
š YOGA CLASSES
Everyone is welcome and all my groups are friendly and not intimidating at all. These are spaces where you won't be judged and you can just come to breathe and move without pressure at all - local to Oxted - Ā£12.50 - Ā£10 for over 65's.
š THE SWAN METHOD
Brings together my work as a counsellor, coach, yoga teacher and nervous system specialist to offer a truly holistic and unique therapy - online and in person - Ā£80.
š WELLBEING COACHING
Looking at all areas of your life, helping you identify where change is needed, create meaningful goals and supporting your progress along the way - onlien and in person - Ā£95.
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