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Five Effective Strategies to Reset Your Stress Response and Feel Calm

For those of us who always feel like we're one step away from stress, anxiety, or overwhelm - and those already there - there is so much more you can do about it to help yourself than many realise 🙏🏼


It's often seen as 'normal' for us to feel constantly stressed, rushed, and harassed, while struggling mentally has almost become a standard way of living. And though it's probably fair to say many of us aren't living lives that support our health and wellbeing as best as we might 🌿 there is so much more that we can do remedy the stress we're experiencing. And it's actually pretty simple too! 👌


So, what can we do? Firstly, a let's have a simplified bit of understanding of why this is happening - but if you're feeling impatient please feel free to scroll down about five paragraphs ⬇️ to look at the strategies you can use to reset stress!


It's helpful to know that the stress response is actually a very normal and healthy part 🌸 of our body's mechanisms to respond to threats and that what has happened over time is simply that these normal mechanisms are just being triggered way too often.


Back in the day (a long way back that is!) our stress response kicked in to help us when threats arose such as coming across a tiger or bear 🐻 those hormones and all of the energy flooding our would be needed to activate the fight-flight-freeze response and keep us safe. However, nowadays, the stress response our lifestyles have evolved hugely but the stress response hasn't. So, we can get a full on fight-flight-freeze reaction from opening emails 📧 having to make a call 📞 we know will be tricky, running late for work, etc. Luckily though, it is possible to calm ourselves.


There are different elements to our nervous system and in an ideal world, we would be living in a neutral baseline state called homeostasis where we aren't in stress, and we aren't in deep rest, we are in balance ☺️. Sadly though, many live in the sympathetic stress arousal state, so when something our minds perceive as 'danger' happens, we are already in a stress state and it just increases this feeling inside of us, winding us up even more and flooding our bodies with more stress hormones and energy.


In an ideal world, we want to be at a neutral state for much of our daily activity, then when stress comes in we can act to discharge it. Historically, this would usually have been running, fighting (or freezing). During fight or flight 🏃 the body naturally uses the energy and it's discharged, bringing us back to baseline and the calming side of the nervous system kicks in to bring us to rest and repletion.


Sometimes we can't fight or flight because it's not an option and this is where our current way of living struggles the most 😞. We can't the 'fight' or 'flee' emails, late trains and traffic jams, amongst other things, that seem to be constants in our lives. And therefore, our body doesn't discharge the hormones and release the energy that has built up to help us.


In the wild when an animal can't fight or flight, you'll see they go into freeze mechanism - playing dead - but after this the animal will naturally discharge all of the stress and trauma through shaking. That way, the body is reset to baseline 🍃.


As humans, however, we have become quite disconnected to the wisdom of nature and most of us may never have heard of this idea of discharging stress, let alone various ways we might reset. And we have also been 'socialised' out of the innate wisdom we had as babies 👶 and toddlers where something happens and we cry, stomp or thrash it out of our bodies - and then often fall promptly asleep.


✨ Here's the important bit - what we can do to help! ✨


🌱 BREATHE - it really is that simple!


Take a couple of minutes after a stressful situation to simply sit and breathe. Begin with a full exhale. Then breathe in, with the intention to get the breath into your belly, not just your chest (this might take a few breaths to manage).


As you exhale, let your shoulders and jaw relax. Then, simply continue breathing in and out, slowing your breath down. After a minute, you should find that you can let your exhale lengthen out and this will kick in the calming side of your nervous system. If you like, put a little pause between the inhale and exhale once the breath feels nice and relaxing. You are now doing diaphragmatic belly breathing - a super helpful way to let go of stress.


🌱 SHAKE IT OUT - do it like the animals do


If you can, stand up and shake that stress out of your system. Focus on hands and wrists, move to elbows, then shoulders. One or both arms at a time. Then, take it to your feet and ankles, knees, then hips (obviously one leg at a time!). Then try shaking out the core of your body and finally your whole body. A little tip - if you've got neck tension, your neck won't thank you for shaking it out, keep to the shoulders instead.


🌱 SOOTHING SELF MASSAGE


A couple of minutes spent softly massaging your ears and space behind and in front of them and maybe sweeping your hands over your face too, will do wonders to reset stress.


🌱 SWEEPING ARMS


Sweep you hands up and down your arms (bare arms are better). You can vary the speed and the pressure to see how it feels. It's also a bit like giving yourself a hug.


🌱 BUTTERFLY TECHNIQUE


Cross over your hands at the thumbs (like butterfly wings) then place them on your upper chest so your fingers will be just below your collar bones - rhythmically tap one side and then the other for a couple of minutes whilst breathing slowly.


✨ MORE HELP?? ✨


If you'd like to get a more in depth understanding of how you can help yourself to health and wellbeing, here are some of my offerings, both online and in person:


🌟 THE HEALING HOUR


An Oxted-based class on Wednesday evenings at 7pm, specifically designed to calm the nervous system and bring you back to calm - £15.50.


🌟 NERVOUS SYSTEM REWIRING COURSES


A pre-recorded and available on my website. 6 core videos and supporting videos in between. Touch base emails with me to help if needed - £39.


🌟 YOGA CLASSES


Everyone is welcome and all my groups are friendly and not intimidating at all. These are spaces where you won't be judged and you can just come to breathe and move without pressure at all - local to Oxted - £12.50 - £10 for over 65's.


🌟 THE SWAN METHOD


Brings together my work as a counsellor, coach, yoga teacher and nervous system specialist to offer a truly holistic and unique therapy - online and in person - £80.


🌟 WELLBEING COACHING


Looking at all areas of your life, helping you identify where change is needed, create meaningful goals and supporting your progress along the way - onlien and in person - £95.


You can find out much more about all of my offerings: www.mindbodysoulwellbeing.co.uk


Or contact me for more information:



 
 
 

Permission to Self-Care this Christmas

Rosie Marsh


3 min read


As this is being shared on Christmas Eve, many of us are already in the thick of the festive season. The build-up, the day itself, and that strange void between Christmas and New Year when no-one knows what day it is. Routines are likely out of the window and emotions sit close to the surface.


Christmas can be a time of love and joy – but it can also feel overwhelming, emotionally layered, and far too busy. Expectations pile up, family dynamics resurface, and the usual anchors that keep us steady can wobble.


For many people, this time of year also brings grief — whether from losing someone, navigating separation or relationship changes. All of these are real, human responses to a season that carries so much emotional weight and high expectations.


Through years of working in the wellbeing industry, I've come to understand that caring for ourselves at this time of year isn’t another thing to add to the list. It’s essential and we need to consciously give ourselves permission — permission to slow down, to soften, and to respond to what we actually need, rather than what we think we should be doing.


Below is a wellbeing check-in — an invitation to care for your mind, body, and soul through the whole festive period in a way that feels realistic, compassionate, and supportive.


Red berries hanging on bare branches against a blurred snowy background, creating a serene winter scene.


A Moment of Support

If you’re already feeling stretched, emotional, or overwhelmed, one of the kindest things you can do is begin with support, not effort.


It needn't take long to down-regulate our nervous systems, so I'm linking you to my free three-minute calming video on my website, designed for moments when you don't have long but you know you need to pause, breathe, and settle. There’s no sign-up and no pressure — just a short guided practice you can return to anytime.



Later in the season, when the overwhelm begins to ease, you can also look out for my free Detox Yoga video — a practice designed to release built-up tension, support your system after the busyness of Christmas, and offer a little detoxing for the festive over-indulgence. Look out for the email post in a few days time.



Noticing When Things Feel Like a Lot

Stress doesn’t always announce itself loudly, particularly at the beginning, when it tends to show up quietly through the body, breath and mood.


Look out for:

  • Feeling overwhelmed by plans, expectations, or mental to-do lists

  • Restless sleep or over-tiredness

  • Increased sensitivity and irritability

  • A foggy mind, low energy, or a sense of being “maxed out”


These are signals from your nervous system asking for a little more self-care. When we notice them early, we can respond with kindness rather than pushing through until we’re depleted.



Boundaries as an Act of Self-Care

The festive season has a way of blurring boundaries, especially with family expectations.


Protecting our energy is easier than you might think:

  • Saying not this time to things that feel draining

  • Taking breaks from social media and comparison

  • Being honest with yourself and others about what you can manage


You really don't have to attend everything and you definitely don't have to carry everything on your own. Choosing fewer, more meaningful moments is a great way of respecting your wellbeing, without withdrawing.



Small Anchors of Calm

Calm doesn’t require long practices or perfect routines. It’s built through small, steady moments.


Below are some simple examples of how you can bring calm:

  • Conscious breathing — a few slow breaths, feeling your feet on the floor and letting go of tension as you exhale

  • A quiet moment — a few minutes to yourself (even just hiding out in the bathroom to breathe) can make such a difference to overwhelm

  • Starting the day kindly — instead of rushing into the day, take a moment to breathe and offer calm to your nervous system by sweeping the hands up and over the forehead, the top of the head, down the back of the head to the neck and shoulders. Finish by placing your hands over your heart and taking 3 calming breaths.


These moments are so important in helping to regulate the nervous system and remind the body it’s safe enough to soften, even when life feels emotionally charged.



Letting Go of Perfect

A lot of festive stress comes from how we think Christmas should look. Christmas isn't about perfection and it's not about presents — it's unlikely that someone will remember the gift you spent hours choosing over the time you spent together from one year to the next. Presence, not presents!


This is especially true if grief, separation, or family change makes the season feel harder than it used to. So please remember:


It’s okay if this year is quieter.

It’s okay if traditions change.

It’s okay if rest becomes a priority.


Self-care doesn’t have to be big or perfect. It really is as simple as a moment's space, a pause, a breath, a gentle stretch out, a walk outside, or allowing yourself to take the time you need with the support you deserve.


Be kind to yourself this Christmas 🤍


 
 
 
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